I'm so sorry that you have to endure this wisewoman! Being a mother does not make you a door mat. When your daughter is being rude and cruel, I would say "I love you very much, but I cannot tolerate this type of behavior. I am always here if you need me, but I cannot let you treat me this way."

I know how it is easier said than done, but you've raise her, given her love and a foundation. She's an adult and has to make her own mistakes. In the meantime, you need to take care of youreself because someone is going to need to help her pick up the pieces when the house of card falls down.

I wish you the very best of luck!