oh and another confession...i would always put that person downn or do things to hurt them because i believed if they were wounded no one else would want them and i wouldn't be as likely to lose them. i hate confessing that...sounds sick but it's the truth.

i always had to feel "better" than that person and make sure they knew all their (multiple) faults...i think it was my attempt to think i had control and keep them in love with me. it usually backfired as i got older.

it's been a reallllllllllllllly tough illness to live with. did i emphasize really enough???