I totally relate! Like Zoie, I was raised in a household where emotions were frowned upon—the only person in my household who showed emotion was my mentally ill mother who never got treatment.

I’m starting month 6 of weekly therapy and I’ve yet to cry in front of my therapist, save for a few times my voice cracked or I briefly teared up. Therapy for me so often becomes a discussion of feelings I had during the week in relation to my journey, say when I was alone and I felt comfortable enough to sob and cry over a particular feeling. A few times I’ve gotten paranoid that my therapist will think I’m not genuinely experiencing these emotions since I don’t live them in session—but the man is kind and never said anything over it. A couple of months ago I ended up laughing over recalling to my therapist how I was able to identify and name the feeling of loneliness for the first time in a decade. Like, it seems so absurd and something my own 4 year old could do more easily than I could! (I hope my preschooler will be able to do better job of identifying his own emotions.)

Anyhow, Im going to give your therapist the benefit of the doubt and say they probably don’t find it weird. I think it’s a common struggle in therapy, especially among people like myself who weren’t allow to express emotions when they were younger. I use a journal app on my phone so I can capture and identify feelings throughout the week, and I use this to drive the topic of discussion for my therapy sessions. I feel like I’m making *slight* progress, although it’s a slow process for me.