Being aware & acting on the red flags we see is a learning process.

As you just saw, not jumping into a relationship & feekings for someone is important because it does take awhile to get to know someone & see those negative red flag things come out in them.

I have learned....dont commit feelings. Sit back & observe. If someont pushes committment, that is a red flag too because no one ever knows someone well enough in a short time to commit emotions to a relationship that quickly.

The red flags I finally saw showed up almost a year after meeting when REAL LIFE stuff started happening in the relationship & how he reacted rather than the fake front dating picture people paint of themselves.

Have also learned even in business dealings....when something questionable happens there IS SOMETHING WRONG that shouldnt be rationalized or excused away. Every time that has come up in my life, I have been dealing with a crook.

Have learned if something isnt going smoothly, back off & observe, dont keep pushing it to happen. Thete is usually a good reason for it not working as planned. I applied that to the fencing I needed done on my farm. Kept having problems finding someone to come out & do it. Then I got a really expensive estimate. If I had spent all the money on that, I wouldnt have had the money I will need to recover my things from the house my not yet X-H has alliwed to go into foreclosure. I am LEARNING the wait & watch approach is the safest. If it is good & right IT WILL HAPPEN no matter what & we see the big pucture then, not just what we wish for.

Life is so complex at times