My entire life, I've been terrified to have a child and it wasn't until recently I sort of wanted to a little later, I'm only 24 but I have this feeling that I've had since I was young that I couldn't have a child. So I told myself I never wanted one, I guess to make myself feel better about it? It's unlikely for me and it's rough but although I can see it changing your life, it doesn't always have to be negatively. You may lose sleep for a while, you may have to work around some of the things but from what I've seen and heard from friends and my brother who has kids, you can still lead a normal life. If you're engaged, you have a team member and they will help with some of the pressures and things you have to do. I'm sorry to hear your mother was emotionally abusive. I've also heard that a child will change your life, but in the most incredible way.

Only you know if you want to make that call and only you know if you're willing to take that chance and bring a part of yourself into this world. I hope things look up for you. <3