Your ex-husband is a real instigator. There is no such thing as a divorce settlement where you are obligated to allocate some of what is yours toward an inheritance for a daughter. Your husband cooks up the nuttiest stuff that he pulls out of the thin air. You must stop listening to this garbage. Do not even respond to it, neither to him nor to your daughter. What's yours is yours to do with as you see fit. This daughter of yours - I'm sorry to say - is a gold digger. Don't enable that by feeling you have to justify your financial decisions to her. If she's telling you that her relationship with you depends on her getting an inheritance from you, then she is a cold blooded fish. Don't expect much warmth. How stupid does she think you are to be manipulated like that?

Divorce means the marriage is o-v-e-r. Be civil to your husband, but do not give him easy access to you. Your financial affairs are now zero % his business. That's a boundary you need to set. You don't set boundaries by telling people "I'm setting this boundary." You simply don't discuss with people what is not their business. Your daughter is still your daughter. But she is way out of line. You may have to say, "Gee Honey, I'm sorry you feel that way."

Why are these individuals obsessed with what you do with your assets? Do you live in a mansion on a big estate? Is your daughter very insecure in her financial affairs?

The truth is, actually, that adult children generally are very interested in getting an inheritance from their parents - whether it's some linens and kitchen ware, or real estate and financial assets. That's human nature. Often adult children are attentive to parents based on what's "in it" for them. That's some people's human nature. Don't tie yourself up in knots trying to "win" your daughter's affection by dangling money over her head like a plum. My father did that, and he died quite lonely. I don't think you're trying to do that. But you are paying way, way too much attention to crazy talk coming out of your ex and your daughter. That just keeps it going. You don't have to be a captive audience to nonsense. Ignore threats, whether bluntly stated or implied. They are trying to manipulate you because they see you as someone who can be manipulated. Stop being so ready to take in and dwell on every fool thing these two want to throw at you. Do that and you'll be more respected.

You don't need to worry so much about "where they are coming from." It's obvious to me where they are coming from. Know where you're coming from by knowing what you do and what you do not owe others. You may not be able to have the warm relationships with some people that you desire. All you can do is love who you love and hope that they will reciprocate that love. They may not. That is heart-breakingly sad, but you can't control them.