Hey. I understand about your not feeling able to bring those things up. I understand because... I'd feel the same if I was in your shoes. There are things with my therapist, too, that I simply can't mention to him. Like when he says he will do x and he ends up not doing it. I'm really hurt when that happens. But I can't bring it up. Because if he blamed me or didn't think it was an issue or if he got all defensive... I'd feel mortified. And I simply am not strong enough to deal with that. I can't afford to take that risk.

On the other hand, I think that taking risks in disclosing stuff that is hard is what results in increased feelings of intimacy. If you take a risk in sharing something that is hard (hard in the sense that it would really hurt if he responded badly) and then he responds well - then that results in a feeling of being deeply understood and connected and stuff. That is what is healing.

But finding the balance between risk and self preservation. It is hard, yeah.

Er... I email my therapist. I email him those things that I couldn't possibly say to his face. I don't like to talk about them in therapy, but I will tell him by email. He gets to think about how it is best to respond... And I can share things that way. It is somehow less threatening for me. I don't know.

Is there anyway that you could write this down and give it to him? Or tell him by email? Or something like that? I just wonder if... You need to find some kind of measured and manageable risk to do with this stuff. Something that is a little risky (if you don't risk anything you don't stand to gain anything intimacy wise) but somethign that is also manageable.

Not sure what that might be...