Hi Fluffy

I am sorry you're feeling so bad about this and and letting you know I care and sending you hugs

SO..........you say you regret it..........you say that you're angry at yourself..........I'd say that a real good starting point would be aiming at a little (more?) self-compassion
Personally I'd say that there's no way you should be taking so much, if any (!!) of the blame for this..........you were obviously lacking something in your life, or had "negative" experiences or had some other reason to maybe to lead you to do what you did, sure there might have been other things you could have done instead of..........but maybe that was the only option you saw at the time..........and the blame bit:
Some of those guys on the site HAD TO HAVE known you were underage when you were 13/14 but instead of saying something like "Whoah!!!!, don't do this to yourself!!!" and even reaching out to you try to give you support in whatever might be going on for you to make you want to do that, some of them INSTEAD gave you encouragement!!!
Now that IS inappropriate, remember you were even underage to give consent to any sexual acts, sexual consent and in a majority of countries it would be illegal for them to do what they were doing/say what they were saying!!!
And what they were doing/saying with the issues you may have had, were looking for an escape from or something to fill the gap, or maybe even niavety (you were young!!) had to have sucked you further in and beyond those ages..........by the time you felt bad about it I'm guessing that maybe you felt you weren't worth much "more than"??? You didn't like it but you felt this is all...........???
So some (more?) self-compassion??
I reallyfeel for you and what you went through, if you could maybe feel a little more for yourself and what you went through too??
And I absolutely wouldn't see you as "gross", "dirty" or "a slut" in doing what you did, you were, the blame/the shame lies with the people who didn't say "Whoah......."!!!!
And you now..........well I'd say that you have come a long way, whether it feels like it or not, I mean you seem to be valuing yourself to the point whereas you aren't feeling the need to do things like that to feel "valued"..........so massive kudos to you!!!!
It can be majorly hard to get to the point you're at now, after having your self-esteem lowered so much that you were still needing to do things like that online despite the way it made you feel.........so from me.........real respect!!!!!
And again...........some more compassion for yourself and who you were then, hey??
Plus some pride in how far you've actually come from there, things still might not be "easy" at times, but.........



Alison