I know this is rambling but my questions are:
1. How do others on this board maintain professional relationships at work?
2. How do you make friends at a new employer and keep from freaking everyone out?

If you read my other posts you might see that I don't post here until I'm really at my wit's end. Well I'm back in that place.
I've had several different jobs with varying success up until my current employer. Here I realized that I really do have some skill and value; luckily the management agreed and compensated me fairly. Prior to this I was always, ALWAYS underpaid because I had 0 self confidence and would accept any number they threw out.
So At my current employer they gave me the opportunity to move into a sort of developer role. I've picked it up and ran with it, and I'm doing well with it because I know I'm smart.
My company was bought by another company, and the culture is way different. Most importantly from what I have noticed is that my new team is super uptight and I feel they are actually pompous a-holes. I feel they probably talk bad about me and treat me with disdain. In all my meetings I am nervous and there are ALWAYS awkward pauses after I speak, like the rest of the people on the call need a minute to decipher what I just said. In addition to that, my boss has become more and more distant and cold towards me. I know if has to do with how I carry myself when interacting with others and I've resolved myself to finding another job. But then here's the biggest issue: The developer work I do now is only used by a couple companies in my city. If I go back to my old line of work I will take a huge paycut, arounf 15-20k and my wife will have to go back to work.