Cielpur, I can definitely relate. I'm a little jealous that you could at least find work at a retail place. I can't even get an interview in a retail store because it's been 14 years since my last retail job. I couldn't even get an interview at Walmart!

I am lucky that I've been able to freelance successfully to supplement SSDI, and that I was eligible to go back on SSDI too.

Please know that what happened to you this summer was NOT your fault. And I think what you are doing is respectable. You are doing whatever you have to (legally) to pay your bills. I know lots of people who thought retail or part-time was beneath them so they leached off of friends and family while doing drugs and using others.

Just realistically thinking, people out of work are usually out of work for at least six months before finding a new job, so you're still kind of in that zone...nothing is available right now, but keep looking and keep your interview skills fresh because something will come along.

It's hard to be in your 40s, having financial commitments, and then having no income. You are doing what's respectable - WORKING. If friends and family judge you, **** them. They should know better.

In the long-run, this is a short period of your life where you have experienced joblessness and learned how to be even tougher than you thought you could be. It may be a while longer but something will come along.

Just remember, there is nothing shameful about having a job, any job.

And you know what, you have every right to be angry you're in this situation. It's okay to have feelings about it and be angry about the hand that's dealt you. But put that anger to good use (as you are obviously doing) and dig in to get past this year from hell. Maybe there's opportunity in one of these jobs for you to advance to management, since you have a college education? Ask about opportunities for advancement. Maybe working towards moving up with help you refocus that negative energy.

I have a good friend from high school who has focused her career on retail management. She worked her way up the ranks, now manages a whole mall's operations and does very well for herself. There is nothing shameful about retail. I mean, everyone shops, right?

Maybe I missed this part of the story previously, but why aren't you working at a school? Aren't teachers needed like everywhere right now? I know my school district is always looking, but I don't know how it is where you are. What region are you in? One idea I had for you was looking at after-school activity providers, usually nonprofits, as they are often looking for site coordinators. It's often part-time work but at least you would be adding educational employment to your resume during this gap time.

You will come through this. Keep pushing. I know you can do it.

Seesaw