You haven't failed me and this is an easy fix. Get started on the prescribed dose now. When you don't take your meds you get like this and even worse sometimes. It worries people that care about you. We have talked so much that I can tell when you are taking your meds. These meds are keeping you chemically balanced. There's no shame in that. I expect most of us here are own medications. When I don't take mine I get very depressed, concerning depressed. I don't like that feeling, so I take the meds even though I hate them. I hate the side affects of not taking them even more. You haven't failed me