I'm actually a little familiar with the NVC theme. Sounds like mass chaos swirling around you. And I can certainly relate to the importance of we can only control ourselves and our reactions. I think that being able to emotionally detach is a key component in communication when being fed criticisms and judgements towards ourselves.

It's unfair of your ex to have sworn your home to your daughter. That's not how life works. Is she, herself, financially insecure? Do you plan to spend the rest of your life in this home? Will there come a time in the distant future where it will become too much for upkeep and maintenance? What comes to my own mind is that I've watched my grandmom in these past ten or so years need to sell her home and move to independent living and now assisted living. As she said of my late grandfather, he'd be appalled seeing how much prices jumped and skyrocketed. Basically all money has and will provide for her living out her years and her medical bills.

It is not fair of your daughter to attach dollar value on you. Be careful? Careful of not watching every dime? Homes, buildings actually, do decay and can lose value. What if money is spent on repair? Can you speak with a financial planner? Your life Is about You.