hi maymie... i can relate to your predicament on a few different levels...

my sis and you would have a lot in common re: resentment and conlict about taking care of mom...

mom had a dui wreck and it wrecked our lives...

so sis took care of her awhile and feels she lost some youth that way... i can see her point of view..

now i am moms helper.. she really needs it..

dont know what your reasons are for 'having' to take care of mom and you express love as well as self considerations.. there is your crux...

satisfy both is my advice... love her and love you...

hope you feel better soon