As you can gather I was frightened of Fred, not just physical violence but the way he messed my head. Our arguments always took the same turn. He did not like it if I told him a home truth and he would say: No one will believe you over me. We will have a meeting with your mum and dad and you will just end up back in the hospital. So not surprisingly I felt reduced to a child again. He would also say stop treating me like I am your step dad or simply repeat over and over I am, not David, I not David, in your mind you think I am David. But after my stint in rehab and having to take medication I read like there was no tomorrow and I came to the hard realisation that me being in hospital would have been more my real fathers fault and I had always not got on with my well with my mother. I was not projecting my step dad onto Fred and he was convinced I was, he was wrong. I had forgiven David, maybe not for his selfishness and the comments when I was sick but that was different. He was just acting on the stigma that others had influenced in him. Where I live many people believe that there is no coming back from some mental illness. I had been very un-well. This illness picked the wrong person that is one thing sure and certain