Well hi, Allycat
I just want to welcome you. I hear all that. I was totally there. Medication and therapy didn't really help me. I was an empty sad hopeless sack of mushy nothing for years. When you're super low, it doesn't seem like there are any answers, and it seems like nobody knows what they're talking about.

I was super cynical of everything all three of my therapists said. I think it was because I didn't understand any of the theory behind mental health. I'm not sure the therapist understood it either actually. If she did, she never let me in on her plan.

But then I did a whole bunch of research on my own because I just couldn't live that way anymore. And I learned how thoughts and feelings and emotions and motivation and hope and happiness and depression work together. And then I was able to heal myself by manipulating my thought patterns, systematically on purpose.

People say depression is a legit disease like cancer or diabetes or whatever. I won't dispute that it's legit. But it's also special because it comes from the mind, affects the mind, and can be healed by that same mind.

There's a concept called neuroplasticity where scientists have proven that the brain can heal itself. The electrical brain maps of people with OCD actually changed after they practiced altering their thoughts. They cured their own OCD with their minds.

Like imagine you are sitting at a computer. You're the user, pecking at the keys. And your brain is the hardware of the computer. And your mind is the software on that computer. There are just glitches in the software that give you the result of depression. You can repair the software, you just have to learn the coding language.

Depression can go away. You're just a few shifts in perception away from freedom. You can learn your way out of it if you're open to it and you keep trying.

If you want to pm me, I will absolutely do everything I can to help you.
I have a blog where I write about some methods that have worked for me and you can find me on facebook from the blog link in my signature.

There are real life step-by-step things you can do to feel better systematically and on purpose. Do not give up. You are precious and perfect, and you are worth it. It's only your software that needs addressing.