It sounds like you need to breathe your own breath, to have time and space of your own and to keep your energy for your own self discovery not to be a crutch? I hope you can take small steps to freedom. Have to read any attachment theory? There is a book that seems unrelated bc it is about breaking up with girlfriends /husbands etc, but it actually does a great job teaching attachment theory and family systems. It is called Should You Leave? By Peter Kramer.