We started by talking about the intensity of the last session, and the thoughts I'd come away with afterward.

I told her that one of the issues we'd been discussing was resolving itself. And the dilemma about where some of the boundaries lie with my....I don't even know what to call him, my not-husband?...She heard and understood that bit, and when I described how I'd very carefully reached out to see if he was all right she said she'd hoped the story would end with me letting him sit with his own stuff, but she sees that isn't who I am. So we talked about how I am trying to find that boundary between caring (who I am) and caretaking (who I got twisted into).

I returned to the depth of processing I've been doing lately and how it feels intense, the imagery I've been experiencing and my struggle to accept and embrace that healing image because on some fundamental level that means I have to accept the things that happened to me. That's when she suggested we try EMDR, why she thinks this is a good time and how it might help.

Then we wrapped up. That was a lot too. This is exhausting.