Hello,
I hope somebody can give me some advice or any comments are appreciated.
I'm a generally a jovious person but this is bringing me down and filling up
my head with all sorts of rubbish at the moment. Please bear with me, it's a bit hard for me to express what I'm feeling.
I have been with my boyfriend for more than a year now and I love him dearly. We've even started talking seriously about marriage.
We were friends before we got together and I did notice a girl that used to "cling" to him I thought but since we got together I realized that they actually were
together some years ago. The problem now is that she doesn't seem to want to let go. At times she calls him zillion times,
texts him etc. She's depressive and even unfortunately attempted suicide. I felt sorry for her and tried to be supportive
at the time and suggested he helps her get help eventhough she doesn't want to get help herself. But apparently doesn't have
any other friends and doesn't speak to her family either. But I find it really hard to deal with this. I don't know much about
depression and its symptoms but she's well educated and has a good job, I met her a few times in the past and she seemed sane.
So sometimes I'm compelled to think she's just manipulating him with her emotional blackmail. He asks him to call her or she
ends her life? is that normal? If anybody is suicidal would they do that? if someone takes an overdose would they then call
the person to say they've done it? I am getting really confused. I wish I could get him to completely block her out but then
what if she seriously does something?
He doesn't like talking about this and that makes it worse for me and I become more untrusting of him. I know he does his
best to ignore her but I know she must still contact him. And although she knows we're together, I think he lies to her as to
the extent of that and he gives her stupid exuses for not getting back to her like phone problems, money etc.
I don't want him to go tell her he's so happy with me or something like that if there is a risk she'll do something to herself
but is it healthy to lie to her? for him and her? and me for that matter?
How long can he keep the lies and how is she ever going to get it that he's not there for her anymore? I don't know what to do?
He means the world to me and when I'm with him, these thoughts are all lessened but I work in another city and when I'm away sometimes
I think about this and it torments me inside, especially that she lives nearby and she's always trying to get him to meet her.
He's a person who deals with problems when they actually arise so might actually meet her and not think of the consequences until
he has to deal with them.
I just don't see this ending and I don't know at all how to deal with it, should I contact her? but then what if she does something
to herself? I don't want anything bad to happen to her nor to him or me but then what an I supposed to do, what is he supposed
to do and how do we help her and help ourselves. And is she just a manipulator? This is very tiring....If anybody has gone through
something similar or has any comments please go ahead. I'll be gratefull for any point of view or advice.
Many thanks
Esp.