yesterday i studied with someone. she did not want me. she was cold and said i was an "odd duck".

today i was square dancing. i danced with many people but i was there with one person. she wanted me too much. she was loud, 24, childish, annoying. i would like to say she is an "odd duck". I hate people like her. i became cold with her and she left.

tomorrow i am having dinner with someone. i think it will be overwhelming.

i like it best when things are anonymous. if i were at the dance today without a partner, i could have taken what i needed, which is exercise, human touch, and engagement with music. i like to dance a lot.

i don't like people. i wish there were one person i had to go back to and give me a prolonged hug. i feel lost and lonely. it is better if i don't attach.

i feel like attaching to these people for short periods of time has made me dirty. i need to get them out of my psyche. they make me feel disgusting.

i enjoy being alone.