Obviously, the decision is not "clear cut"--only you can figure out what is best for you. I have been writely a lot about my relationship lately--I see things more clearly but marriage is so complicated--our interactions with our partners can become fraught with emotional baggage. I am not saying if you should stay or go but your delay filing papers tells me that there are good things about your partner as well as bad. A part of you must love him. Love isn't always enough but if you do still love him--have you talked extensively with him and a therapist about your relationship? You indecision is telling me that you need to do some more evaluation before taking this major step.