Catriana hi!
I read through what you've writen and it appears to me that you're life has been very stressful, you have found happiness with your new love. It's like you have finally found happiness and peace after much stress, you can not cope with it, you think it is all going to be taken away. It's not! Your ex-husband took away your self-esteem but he did not take away you! Keep talking through your fears, and let your new love embrace you!
Much love and peace to you xx