I have kept this inside for a long time so here goes. It could be quite long so please be patient. I have four sisters and one brother, my father sexually abused myself and two sisters, he was extremely physically abusive to us all and so was my mother.
My first recollection is him abusing my sister when I was 4 and she was 6, my mother got the police and he was taken away, but he came back. He was extremely violent, he used to strip us naked and beat us in turn with his belt while the others watched inline, waiting for their turn.
He continued to sexually abuse us, he would isolate one of us for a perceived misdemeanour and pounce. My mother knew every time, she was usually at work, her advice "what have I told you! stick together" what could we do, we had no-one to tell and when we did nothing happened.
This continued into my teens (15), my sister went to the police because she had run away and he wanted her home
she told them everything he got a suspended sentence, we didn't even get a visit from social services.
They emotionally, physically and sexually abused us and made us keep the secret until they divorced when I was 28, then mother told anyone who would listen to what a terrible life she had! We were freaks to our own relatives (they live 300 miles away) they did not know. They could not comprehend why we appeared to love him and continue our relationship. They were both as bad as each other.
Consequently, he died, never to cause pain again but she moved back to our home town with our relatives and re-married. She has close relations with our family but treats us like **** everyone loves her. She plays us siblings of one another and our children. She accuses my sister of "making eyes at her daddy"

We are all grown now with children of our own, our lives have been blighted by the past and some of us have caused our own children pain.
I have always been resilient and have been a good mother, never committing the same mistakes. I have been in education for 5 years, gaining a college certificate, a degree and am presently doing a masters in SOCIAL WORK my problem is
I have tried to help my siblings, and the more I learn through education the more angrier I get.

I got drunk with my mother the other night, I tried to get her to help my sister I got the usual excuses"I didn't know" "what could I do" Then she told me it wasn't her fault and she doesn't care! Well the red mist decended and she got 40 yrs of pain, everything I ever wanted to say she got it!
My friend was with me, my mum tried to hit me and I was prepared to give her it, something I have never done. My friend stopped it. My mother left declaring it was the last time she would set foot in my house. I don't , cannot remember it but the howls from my soul was heartbreaking apparantly I just don't have any recollection.
I woke the next morning still sobbing! But not for what happened but the things she said. Even my friend who has always said she may have been bad when we was young but she's changed, can't believe the things she said. She truly does not care, she has no sympathy for what we went through she cannot recognise our pain.
But I feel free! I feel ready to fly, it's like I have had a spiritual awakening and believe me I am not religious. My father used to refer to us as my 'mother's catholic *****y daughters'
She is old and maybe I should feel bad, perhaps I will but for now I don't care! Have they won? I am the one that usually sorts out the problems not cause them.