I've gone through a lot more tdocs than pdocs. Over the last 12 years I've had about 9 tdocs to only 3 pdocs, excluding a pdoc I saw only once at university. My first pdoc was so-so. I will give him credit for diagnosing me with bipolar disorder. Eventually he stopped taking my insurance so I tried someone else. There was no love loss. The second pdoc sucked. Stiff and very unfriendly. He eventually "fired me" because the tdoc that was also from that practice "fired me" because I did some things when full blown manic that were, well, scary and disobedient.

My third and final pdoc is one of the most wonderful men I've ever met in my entire life, other than my husband. I adore him. He knows I adore him. And I believe he has a soft spot for me, too. I've been going to him for 12 years now. He is getting old and has decreased his patient load, but told me he will always keep me. I became overjoyed when he said he never plans to retire. When he eventually has to stop (or if I have to move away), I'll be devastated. He's sweet, intelligent, knows my case extremely well, returns my calls the same day, always manages to fit me in quickly for emergency appointments, and even handles some of the billing crap for me. I utterly look forward to seeing him, and have told him that many times either in words or smiles. My husband knows I have a huge crush on my pdoc. I don't care that he is an out-of-network pdoc. He's worth every penny. As for my crush, I don't care that he is 26 years older than me. He's ultra caring, a cool man, handsome, and has a mellifluous voice. He has kept me out of the hospital for the last 8 years because of his special care. I have never even shaken his hand, but someday if I get a chance I want to give him a huge hug. Maybe if I have to move away he'll let me. I know I'll be crying and crying and crying. For many years I've seen him and talked to him more than my own father. To be honest, as strange as this seems, he is almost like a substitute for my mother whom I lost shortly before meeting him for the first time (he was my psychiatrist during my first hospitalization, but then he only became my private psychiatrist a year later after the second bozo pdoc I mentioned above).