Well nothing brings joy to me anymore. Except when looking in her, thinking on her, just her. I'm not suicidal anymore. Under " ". I'm trying to hide my depression. And I even became a pathological liar. Like I said earlier my life is messed up.Really messed up. If I said to anyone I'm suicidal and depressed everything would just be 100 times more complicated. If I could I would. But I can't fix what's broken in pieces. That's my life. I can talk to all of you because I don't even know you. I only see your profiles.That is why it is easier to talk with you.Because you aren't part of my life. But this depression situation. I only tried to talk to my crush. And she blocked me. Of course on facebook. I tried thinking rationally. She doesn't care about me so I should just stop loving her. But then I thought about my mistakes. First of im ugly, and socially-stupid person.Second I'm poor and her dad owns a local contracting company.She doesnt need me. Third thing wrong with me is that I'm in low number of friends. I try thinking of future. But everything falls down as I think about love.I know you cant help and time will probably heal all the wounds. But I'm affraid of me doing harm to myself... THank you people you sure are good, loving, and caring and thank you. Now, if you read all the way go and help those who need it.My case is hopeless i'l try being NOT suicidal.Again thank you. GOD bless you all...