1. I seem to be wearing a sign today that says "Please interrupt me mid-sentence, and then neglect to ask me to finish my thought." Why am I even wasting my time with you?

2. I've been denying all year that I've developed dermatillomania, but the upper ridge of my nose and my forearms looks like I have a bad sunburn now. It has become very noticeable this last week, and I hate being in public more than usual. Makes me feel weak. Because I am.

3. I was hired to make music for a project that's being released next year, and I haven't been able to focus on it. I took the commission in March, and haven't even finished 10% of the work yet. The developer is understanding so far, but I feel like I can't even think about making music for myself anymore. I've developed a decent network among game developers through commissions, but I'm starting to think about walking away from it all. This was supposed to be my "dream", but it just makes me hate myself more.

4. I can't deal with the snow this early in the year. I'm not ready to go back to digging myself out every day, and freezing my face off, and planning every outing with an extra 30-40 minutes for defrosting and inclement driving. Why do I even live up here?

5. No, seriously, let's go back to #1 for a moment. I'm sick of tolerating people who seem to have no time for me. I'm sick of being derailed. And I'm not just going to speak up more, to get a word in edgewise. I'm not going to talk louder, or more forcefully. What I'm going to do is what I've always done, which is fade out of their peripheral vision, until they're not even aware I'm gone. It's what's best for both of us.

6. I don't even know. I feel like I do things "right", but I never feel "right". I chase my dreams (with some degree of success), I succeed in social situations, I exercise, I take my meds, I do my work, I clean my home, I bathe. When things don't work, I change them, and try new things. I'm open to new experiences. And when none of that works, I do nothing, which of course also has no satisfaction in it. Is there no satisfactory end to this cycle?

Woo. Saturday night.