Problem is I don't remember if I have, I don't have much memory of before the age of 8-9. I don't want to make it seem like I'm creating a false memory or that I'm just saying that I did to get off in some sick way, maybe its to somehow make my rape fantasies that I had not seem so bad (gah that sounds really weird T-T). I could never handle stories of rape and molestation, last time I watched one in a movie I got super paranoid and scared, the thought of it makes me paranoid and scared I spent a good while crying at the thought. I have read articles with symptoms of it to. Another problem is, I don't know who would have done it I don't remember anyone that would do such a thing nor do I think anyone in my family would do something that sick either. The only thing I know about is that I was quiet and aloof in pre-school and they said I may have been molested? But that was denied since I was just finally starting to speak then after being mute for the first 3 years of life and I wasn't a very social child then. I think they accused one of my Uncles but he (apparently, I'm going off of a second hand account and my memory isn't that great) got highly defensive and denied it. I just don't know, thinking about this makes me want to think about it less and forget I ever thought about it. Ignore it as some off handed thought and never think about it again completely denying the possibility and never look back. Any advice on what to do would be helpful