I absolutely hate my current pdoc. Every time I see her she talks to me for about a minute total, and spends 14 minutes typing on her computer, interjecting to say something to me occasionally, all while sitting at the computer. I wonder what the eff she is typing, since she only speaks about 3 sentences to me. She is the third one I've had since I moved to this city 2 1/2 years ago. I liked first one, about 25 minutes away, but of course he left. Also liked the therapist there. Then I had to travel 50 minutes to see another one in the practice, who I didn't care for, because they never filled the other position. I could not afford to keep driving 50 minutes for medication management and 25 minutes for therapy, so I found both in town. And a pdoc I hate. The problem is the therapist here is the best one I have ever had, and I've been through countless therapists in my life. She is very goal oriented and encourages me to be insightful about my behavior, which is great for me. But I have to keep this pdoc if I want to see this therapist. I go back and forth about contacting the other practice to see if they finally hired a replacement for my pdoc who left.

And this sounds terrible, but I wish I could see an MD level psychiatrist. I normally prefer PAs for general medical care (the pdoc who left was a PA) but I feel my illness is so complicated, I need a psychiatrist. In the 10 years I've been diagnosed with bipolar, after spending the previous 10 years being diagnosed with just depression and anxiety, I have never actually seen a psychiatrist. I saw a NP for a while, PAs, and the current pdoc I hate is a Doctor of NP - I thought she was actually a psychiatrist when I scheduled with her. I know there are great NPs out there and terrible MDs, but after over 2 1/2 years of instability, and not much stability before (although I was much better than now), ultra rapid cycling, mixed episodes, dangerous behaviors when both manic and depressed, and an inability to take antidepressants due to them making me manic - I really want to see a psychiatrist. They are hard to come by in this area, but I might need to find one somewhere. I've been spinning my wheels for awhile.