So I am entering my third month in iop. I do feel I made significant strides. My psychiatrist in the program said start making aftercare appointments and would re-evaluate my in 2 weeks to see if I get discharged. That would take me to almost 3 months and two weeks.

I’ve seen a bunch of people discharged who started later than me. Not that that brought me down, but I wonder how messed up was I? I’m sure some of you remember my posts throughout the months, was I really that gone? I had some suicidal ideations in the summer and slept most of it away. I literally went an entire weekend (three days, I’m including Friday) in bed. Some of it was awake staring at the ceiling, on the iPad, on the forums or asleep. Hell I developed back pain which I attribute being in bed so much. I didn’t get to the point that I had a plan or an attempt (I did have an attempt in 2013, but didn’t sleep as much as I did over summer).

My iop has a “stone ceremony” in your last group. The stone will have some words in it. Then you explain what your stone means to you (the word), then pass it around and other members say what they think that word means to the person and congratulate them.

I kinda don’t want to leave iop. I enjoy most classes in the morning and usually pertains to one of my issues (art class definitely does not, taught me not to be late). I told the p doc I feel I need to build my self confidence before I get discharged.

So back to my original question, was I really that much gone? Thanks for reading this and I appreciate your input.