Hi Fluffy

Glad that you're feeling a bit better and sounds like you made the right decision for you
Kind of sounds like you made that decision with a basis of not trying to "fit in" with what you were worried other people's perceptions of you might be (if they matter they'll like you for you- going to a party or not!!), accepting who you are and what you want (and not going to a party like that does not have to effect how successful you are) and you let go of the control it seemed the ex had over the way you "felt you needed to be/show yourself!!!
So good on you for taking that stand, and real glad you did that for you!!!
As for the social phobia, well maybe be a little kinder to yourself in working on that??
Perhaps (if you aren't alredy!!) set yourself goals of doing social settings a little (or a lot!!) less "intense" than a party, if you think one/any may be a little too much for you?? Just do things at your pace, hey?? And what's right for you

Alison