i am sorry. severe mental illness...can be all consuming. i rarely see any 'friends' from back in the day, before my breakdown. probably for the best. 1 kinda sorta keeps in touch, to a point.

if you're into a 'higher power,' religious organizations are often good places to meet people who will genuinely connect with you. I'm Christian, so clearly I'm biased, but...my experience has been that other Christians are a lot more willing to talk with me, spend time with me, and just...be, with me. i cannot speak for any other religious groups/belief systems, of course.

i do hope things get better for you. you're not alone, and...if these people are/were anything like my 'friends' from years past, you're probably better off looking elsewhere for companionship.