Mouse,
You're right! I did get some awesome replies Yes, I've been having a tug of war with my body by fighting the emotions, as Alex explained, and I can feel that it wasn't too healthy.

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I wont give you any advice coz sometimes I read back my posts and I think geez your giving all this wonderful advice and don't even do it yourself.

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I know what you mean. Your statement reminded me of something someone told me when I gave some advice that I wasn't taking. She said, "Well, that doesn't make it bad advice!"
Thanks