I agree. I don't find talk therapy to be helpful for my past trauma, but it was very helpful for handling my daughter's MI and my reaction to it.

I really do think, at least initially, my main focus has to be getting my reactions to stress under control, recognizing that I am getting triggered and taking action (through grounding/mindfulness) to get it under control.

Beyond that, I'm not sure what direction I'm going to take. I realize that there is the possibility that the holes in my memory could be the result of horrible things. I don't know if I want to go there. What I remember was horrible enough, I'm not sure I want to remember something potentially worse.

This coming week at work will be a major test for me. I picked some new projects due to one our divisions manager leaving and I have two major projects that I'm working on right now and several smaller ones. I still haven't got a complete picture of what's going on with all the new projects but I have some hard deadlines coming up in the next couple weeks that are going to be quite challenging.