Your background is a lot like mine in a lot of ways. I'm enneagram 4 and have dealt with that excruciating loneliness as well. I still deal with it from time to time though not as badly. It can be so hard to have so many ideals about how you would want life to be and then to not see that reflected in anyone around you. It is really difficult, being a dreamer and a romantic in this world where most people seem to just be content with the ordinary.

The internet can really deepen this issue because you get exposed to so many interesting people, places, ways of life. It can be sort of a trap in a lot of ways, as you become identified with far away things and feel less identified with your actual life. This split can become increasingly frustrating the more it deepens.

The search for a soulmate is still something that gets me all the time. I think this is a lifelong struggle, whether you ever find someone that seems to reflect those desires or not. It can be a source of deep pain but also a source of deep meaning and it can keep you going when you're otherwise feeling really depressed.

I don't know much about astrology but I relate to the hidden part of yourself that is never quite expressed. I think that is a large part of what creates the drive to find a soulmate--wanting to meet someone who will see and love all the parts of you that nobody else even notices.

A lot of times the mood swings can be created by envy. Wanting something or someone that you can't have. Or also, not feeling happy with the life or the circumstances that you do have. It is a really difficult struggle to go through those ups and downs all the time. But the more control you have over your life they get better as well.