I'm so sorry. So much loss.

I've never been good at that sort of thing myself. I guess no one truly is, and that's why they have so little useful advice or support.

I'd say, be with people anyways. It will help much more than isolation. Check out the grief and loss forum if you haven't already.

Look after yourself.

If it's too much to handle and you feel you can't do all of it -- if you have to make a choice -- skip the funeral, but see your grandfather in the hospice. What we do and share with people in the here and now is so much more important than any afterthoughts.

I regret a lot of things in my life. But when my grandparents were ill at the end, I spent the time with them while they were still lucid. Not overly long visits, but every day. Things got ugly with relatives after that, but I know I did the best I could while they were alive and it made a difference. I have always been at peace with that since.

I hope some of this helps.