i hadn't posted to this because the whole ordeal has been a roller coaster.. i won't even go there, it's just been so frustrating and draining.

My dad has had his surgery but he is in ICU and has secretions on his lungs. He is on ventilation. They tell us that this isn't something we should panic about yet. i don't know what to think at this point. i just know that i can't talk to my father tonight.

i just wish this would be ok, be over and be ok. i am hanging... waiting to hear something which will give me a better idea of what the future will bring. i want to know if he will lose any long term mobility... will i need to go home to care for him... *deep sigh.

i'm not sobbing anymore. i am doing ok i guess but i am just too tired to sob.

keep the vigil guys... it's not over yet.