I'm sorry you're feeling so confused. I'm certainly no expert with regard to any of this. But from my perspective, the Sanity Score test is really just "food for thought" so to speak. One can't take it too seriously. I've taken it a couple of times in the past. When I did I thought it made me seem better than I thought I was doing at the time.

I can sympathize with your antidepressant experience. Antidepressants are about all I've ever been offered, for the most part. But they've never really done me much good. And I'd have to say that depression, at least as we typically think of it, has been one of my more minor issues. Sadly however, my experience at least has been that throwing antidepressants at the problem (whatever it is) seems to be just the way the mental health system works.

I hope that, in some way, you will be able to find a path for yourself to deep inner peace.