Riggs...this might be why your confused....

Cause dating is not a game...and you don't have to "know how to act"...you just have to be yourself.

Even starting your post...you said it would be a comedy read...and yes you write well...articulate well...and it was a good read...but life is not a show...

Be yourself! Thats all...You haven't had a positive experience you say and maybe that is because you are not presenting as you....