(((((cheekiebird)))))

I'm so sorry that that happened to you all. I have an uncle that abused his daughters(the non-biological ones and probably the biological ones as well) sexually for a long, long time. All of them hate him and the entire family is just a mess. He's still married to my aunt even after all the abuse he's done to everyone (he once *****d out my aunt for money for a few years when they were younger).

It's hard to admit that the person who raised you and the person you love is just...well messed up. It's equally frustrating when they say they've done nothing wrong, that it was all you and not them. Parents need to take responsibility for their mistakes. To err is human, one must always strive to improve. Denial does nothing but hurt you and others around you.

Even though my father beat me down emotionally as a kid, my parents refuse to admit that they might have made mistakes. They become really defensive when I speak negatively of the past, using "Well we loved you and still do, how can you doubt that?" as their defense. In the end, while I understand that my father had PTSD, they could at least admit that they were wrong for treating me that way, that they could have handled it better, instead of making it seem like it was some elaborate 'growing up' scheme and that I grew up perfectly happy and there's no reason why I should be high-strung or defensive around them.

You did what you felt was right; what you continue to feel is right. Sometimes, a verbal smack in the face of reality is what people need. Good luck to you in future dealings with your mother.