I think that's probably what's going on with me too concerning Joe...lack of closure. Plus, he's up in years now as well as myself, with its accompanying illnesses.
I logged onto those search sites, found him with a couple of addresses, it made me wonder why he was moving around so much. Im sure he has children just as I do, as a matter of fact one, a son, looks so much like him it made my heart criver and literally took my breath away. Looking at his son took me back, way back to the time when we were young, and inexperienced in life.
My therapist seems to feel it's just first love stuff, and though Joe was indeed my very first love, I know that it's more than that. What, as in putting a name to it, I don't know. Yet I'm absolutely certain it isn't the blushing I-remember-when sort of thing. I NEED to see him, or at least find out how he's doing and, of course, the closure. I won't rest until something gives one way or another.