If it's true that the world is terrible and pointless, and you believe the world is terrible and pointless, then why this struggle? Why the friction between yourself and the world if your theory of the world and the reality of the world aren't at odds?

I believe that when there's friction inside us, it's evidence that our beliefs are at odds with reality.

You seem like a deep thinker. Maybe you need to zoom out. Maybe start thinking into the theoretical basis for your judgements about things. Maybe ask, what is age? What is the nature of time? What is the nature of the experience of time passing? What is the nature of existing, and being, and death, and life?

What are you assuming about life underneath these beliefs about the world? And are those things steadfast truths. Can you build negative beliefs about the world and the future based on those assumptions?

The world is just the world. Water is just water. Events are just events. People are just people. The world is neutral. It shouldn't be different because it can't be different. It just is. The ideas of "should have," or "could have," or "I wish" don't exist. They have no basis in reality. They are just paths to feel badly and dissatisfied. They are tools of the imagination, but our minds project them onto reality and they feel like valid convincing possibilities. But they aren't. Believing that you "should have" done something differently ten minutes ago, no matter how trivial and possible it seems, it just as impossible as traveling back in time to invent fire.

The world just is. But your beliefs about the world are subjective and relative and malleable. Before you decide you don't want to be here, it's worth thinking about what the nature of wanting is, what the nature of being is, what the nature of "here" is.

You said, - Thinking to myself - is all this depression and anger really a waste of time? No meaning at all to what I am experiencing? Nothing that needs to be fought? Just my anger?

Is it? I think maybe you're on to something. Fight your anger. Leave the world alone for a little bit. See what the world looks like once you're rid of at that anger. When you can see clearly, then you can decide if everything was a waste of time.

You might have anger, but you aren't anger. You are the being which believes in kindness. That's why you find anger so difficult to live with.