I agree with Pegasus.

It actually goes against human nature to actually crave death. In your post you mentioned several things that you dislike dealing with, so it sounds like you are really just wanting a way out from the suffering.

What if these feelings and situations you suffer through were to go away, and you actually felt content about life? At that point death would likely not be on your mind anymore. Honestly you sound overwhelmed, and I would encourage you to go to the emergency room or call a crisis line if you feel you may act on these urges to escape. Remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It is hard to believe while you are in the thick of it, but it DOES get better.