I made another post previously on another forum that is really long but now everything is just getting worse. Being around my mom gives me depression and anxiety, her verbal aggressiveness and constant passive aggression towards me, my dad and sister, and my girlfriend have been detrimental on me. My girlfriend doesn't do anything wrong and my mom absolutely despises her. They wont let me go out of the house much, Keep in mind that I am 17. Based off every single kid I KNOW OF, there are underclassmen with more freedom than me along with the fact that everyone in my grade has more freedom. I will be 18 in march (posting this in November) and off to college in less than 10 months. So far, I really feel like I have missed out. I see this stuff that every other couple is doing, like going places and getting to do stuff together but all I am allowed to do is go a couple of the exact same places with severely limited time.
I have to pay for my phone, my phone service, and make the payments on my car. This forces me to have a job, which takes up 80% of all my free time. The other 20% is being forced to be with my parents and the occasional time I actually get to go out. I thought about quitting my job but the issue is: I have to have a car. My parents are so strict that they don't even let family members drive me around. It is my mom and my dad and no one else. Without me having a car, I cannot go or do anything anywhere. I am literally trapped. Being around my mom has started to give me small anxiety attacks and it gives me heart palpations and issues breathing. Not to mention the emotional trauma she creates for me. I want to move out now and ever come back to them but I have no where to go. I am getting closer and closer to losing my girlfriend because my family creates problems in her home life and stress with her too. Any other girl would be long gone after 9 months of this but we really love each other. Its getting really hard and I'm constantly feeling down and depressed. There is this weight on my shoulders every time I am home and I'm getting tired of holding it. Ngl suicide has flashed into my head, at least the kind for attention, like jumping out my 2nd story window. I just despise my mom and what she does. She does nice things for me and is an actual mom but the bad outweighs the good. My dad just perpetuates it and lets her do what she does. He has learned that if he doesn't agree with her then he is going to be torn into just like she tears into me for existing. I am a good kid, never done anything wrong, anything minor gets help by them though and never forgotten and used as a means to control me. I just really want out and I don't know what to do.