More recently I find myself screaming (just going 'aaaaarrrrrrghhhhhhh' when I am driving alone with all windows rolled up and I am reasonably sure others drivers can't hear me, then I scream my lungs out. I am not entirely sure if it helps me, but I keep finding myself doing it.

I also find myself swearing out loud (mostly the four letter F word or the MoFo word). It's all directed at me because I am angry with myself for the way I am, when at home, in the shower, or doing any chore on my own. Sometimes I say things like 'What am I doing?!!', ' What the hell !!'

And my wife has to remind me that we have a 5-year-old around and that I should watch it. Then I am conscious and thinking what the hell am I saying and shut up.

Sometimes, at work, (not a lot but, it does happen from time to time) it comes out as a mild 'oh come on!' but loud enough for my colleagues to turn around and take notice.

Or I do a mild thump my hand on the desk because I am frustrated as I am struggling to focus.

The moment someone walks up to me, I can smile and talk objectively to them about whatever it was they came to see me about. So I appear perfectly normal and can mask my depression, stress, anxiety, guilt for procrastination very very well.

When am walking alone on the road after picking up lunch in a nearby canteen and I sometimes say things like 'what S*** is this' or say the F word and the immediately after I am conscious and then turn around and look to make sure no one else saw or heard me.

Do you find this happening to yourself and have you found any way to control it?