Why is it people want to listen to themselves and how they think someone else feels rather than the one trying to express themselves? I don't understand that and find it very aggravating. It's why I shut up usually.

To me - it's like if the first person says "help! The sky just turned red!"
The other person looks up and says "no it didn't, you just think it did - but its really blue"
First person says "no - its red" - and points toward the setting sun
Second person says "ahh but look, its really blue" and indicates the space around the setting sun

First person is afraid of the setting sun for whatever reason - we never find out bc the 2nd person was too lost on convincing the first person how "wrong" he was