Quote:
Originally Posted by pegasus
Hello COTM, your post has been on my mind. I see some anger in your responses here and I have to say that is good! That means you still have some fight in you! People are concerned, it's only natural. I don't know you that well but you always come across as caring of others, perhaps too much in the sense that it takes a lot out of you. You are sensitive and you've been mistreated to say the least.
I do understand your sentiments and that feeling but YOU are a valuable person and your time is not up yet! I've worked with terminally ill patients and I can tell you it's awful. Don't wish for life to be over! You obviously have more to give and experience.
Please reevaluate what is going on in your life. Make changes so you are no longer treated like a doormat! Go back to your mental health team and get better medication and psychotherapy, you deserve the best. Let the thoughts run but don't let them take over! Please, get help.  |
Thank you for caring and attempting to hear me this time. I spent 14 years with mental health care. The benefits it had were it taught me relaxation techniques n coping strategies. Other than that - nothing. I went through countless medications n dosages - Xanax helped anxiety but they refused it after a time saying they can no longer give it to anyone. Nothing else ever worked.
I know how to do relaxation techniques.
I know the coping strategies.
I still use them.
I found essential oils help.
I can no longer afford them.
I found exercise helps.
The place I live makes it near impossible to exercise so I get little to none.
I found eating certain ways helps.
I can no longer afford that diet to remain healthy as well.
I have been a CNA working with long term care patients - caring for them while they slowly die. It would be better to know there is eventually a release to the torment.
Helping others actually allows me a distraction from my own thing for awhile as well as allowing me a bit of an outlet to get out some of my stuff in a more discreet way - so it is a good thing for me, not bad.
I still maintain - death is something I crave.