Before I was hospitalised this year, I was a normal person living a normal life, when I was still under the effect of amnesia, forgetting the traumatic memories that I had in the past. I was full of hope and joy, but now I am suicidal and depressed 24/7. I was able to make it through towards graduation because of the amnesia and right now, after switching, I am a completely different person, remembering all the trauma and having flashbacks and trauma-related nightmares often. My T has praised that this part of me has done a "good job" in keeping us safe. But now, we are suffocating and told our T that we are in pain, in so much pain that the pain can only be described architecturally. It can no longer be described in words of the void and hurt that was done to us.