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Right, coping strategies are great but ultimately you need to deal with the true reasons why etc. Listen, I had 6 yrs of therapy and it was worth it because I no longer feel like you do. You are someone who feels deeply, I know that because you've cared for the dying.
Do what you need to do to make things right for you. You are a strong woman, I know this because I've seen it in your previous posts. It is time for you to do what is right for you. Not ending your life! Reclaim It!
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Pegasus
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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein
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