Quote:
Originally Posted by justbreathe1994
. . .I've wanted her to care about me for so long that I'm finally giving up and using a really triggering experience to my own benefit. It's like I'm just rechanneling all my emotions into something that feels more within my control, which is detachment. . . I think I just wanted to get it out.
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I understand, too. I didn't do this kind of thing myself but there were "parts" of me that needed to "act out" in therapy in order for me to see and hope to ever understand/accept them. Therapists didn't ever get that, unfortunately.
The important, I think, is that in what I quoted you are OBSERVING yourself and what seems to be going on. AND communicating with other human beings, so it doesn't stay all inside. It does make sense.
As SalingerEsme said, for me eventually it gave me a choice -- but not in the beginning. First I had to observe.
So, yes, use therapy for that if it helps. It's your session, your mental health. Hope your therapist can find a way to help. If not, there are other human being who do understand. That's been important for me to try to believe that. I still don't quite but I haven't entirely given up.