It sounds very similar to where I feel I’m at right now so I’ll try and be as helpful as I can.

For myself within my current form It’s been very difficult to fill my days up being truly productive and maintaining it. Gaming on my PC is definitely my time filler these days, but I’m aware how distracting it is when I want to try and greatly improve my lifestyle.

I know that every time I’ve felt productive and better than average I’ve prioritised exercise and have been in as much of a routine based lifestyle as possible. I know it’s difficult with bpd, but we just gotta do our best without trying to overdo ourselves.
I’m sorry to hear about your challenges working, but maybe if you feel up for it you could do some volunteer work within a quiet and humble community. For awhile I was walking the dogs at the local dog shelter and I’d literally just sign in, put my headphones and music on and exercise the dogs as well as myself. I found it to be very soothing knowing that I can walk straight out the door if I feel any pressure, but also being able to challenge any anxiety if it arises because I want to put the dogs before me.
It’s difficult without knowing what your interests are, but there are lots of things you’re able to volunteer for, maybe even one that you’ll feel comfortable with and enjoy.

The fact is that if you’re able to at least commit to a regular exercise routine your health, fitness and self image are inevitably going to improve and within the process it’s only human nature to become more focused and obsessed until you realise you’ve subconsciously committed to a certain lifestyle choice that’s going to benefit everything you do. It can obviously seem overwhelming if you haven’t exercised in a long time, but if you’re feeling motivated enough to just ease into the comfort of exercising even just 2 or 3 times a week you’ll inevitably be breaking down the distance between where you are now to where you want to be.

I’ve got a gym membership, but considering my lack of interest in crowded places I prefer to get grounded within nature. Somewhere beautiful like the ocean where listening to the waves, smelling the air and looking beyond the horizon helps draw the mind away from all the ********.
I haven’t ridden for awhile but I bought myself a mountain bike a couple of years back and loved putting on my favourite soundtracks from the studio ghibli films whilst joy riding.
If it’s too challenging to enjoy yourself outdoors, but you still want to do exercise there’s a book called “you are your own gym”, which gives you plenty of creative exercises using your own body weight and household objects to achieve what the average person would normally achieve at the gym.

Sometimes there’s too many things to work on to remain comfortable trying to improve on them all at the same time, and if things get too overwhelming for me I risk abusing bad habits, which inevitably places me a couple of steps back after believing I was making the right moves.
This is why it’s so important to prioritise and concentrate on only what you’re feeling comfortable with.
I’m currently juggling a few extra things in my life that can’t be avoided, but I’m still trying to fit in my exercise.
I’m aware that creativity comes with bpd so once things pass over I’d like to dabble within the creative arts and see what tickles my fancy.
I’ve also always wanted to play the piano so I’ll probably buy a cheap electric piano and learn on YouTube.

But yeah, I guess there’s plenty of time killers and soul foods to choose from, it just depends on what you feel capable of doing, what your interests are and how far you’re willing to push yourself after you’ve eased into the comfort of progress.