I know what you mean.
Honestly, I can tell you, not all men do that. Because I have seen it. My sister's husband both loves and appreciates her. I am like you however. Every man I have "had the pleasure" of being in a relationship with - has the idea "I should know how he feels" after he tells me a couple times. It hurts. I think it in itself borders on abusive - but is truly "emotional neglect", at least that's how it always felt to me.

I wish I could take your pain away. I know I can't. I also know there is no advice to give bc no matter what you do - he will never understand any reason he should change this. "It works well enough for him. The fact that it doesn't for you, is your problem, not his" - in his mind. He cares in the limited sense that he can - even before the dementia, there was a limit, bc full love requires a person to be able to both understand and put effort into supplying the needs and desires of their partner. People who think "I can, why can't you" or "it works for me - deal with it", do not have the capacity to fully love. So - then we are faced with a decision to accept them "as is", or go about our way.

Sucks I know.